'Now Bend My Spoon': One Man's Tragic Mistake


It must have been about 1967, my newspaper was doing a piece on the Soviet Air force and I was sent along to a military air base near Moscow where I was to meet a Colonel who was going to go show me some of the new air craft and describe some of their new techniques as part of the section on the air force in the modern day. I had another appointment in the afternoon with a retired pilot who could give me some insight into flying during war time.

I was already very late when I arrived, mostly due to their rigorous security protocol, which I couldn't really criticise due to the nature of the place I was visiting. So it was that I found myself waiting outside an office, with only an hour to go before I was due to meet my next appointment.

I was pretty certain by this point that I would not make the appointment on time and just hoped that there would be a telephone I could use to call the office and let them know. Perhaps if we skipped the tour of the new air craft then I could probably make it within about an hour of when I was expected, that wouldn't be too bad, my photographer hadn't been allowed in anyway for security reasons and that was our main reason for wanting to see them today.

When the door to the office opened I was greeted by a short man with a huge smile, who took my hand and shook it firmly, putting me instantly at ease, my simmering annoyances falling away in an instant.

I followed him back into the small room, it had a small wooden desk, behind which he sat, offering me the 2nd chair facing him.

I sat and pulled out my notebook while looking round the room, it was undecorated and apart from the 3 pieces of furniture the only other feature other was a small barred window through which I could see the perimeter fence and some security personnel standing outside.

I looked up at the friendly face of the man sat opposite me.

“Thank you for coming in, do you like what you've seen so far?”

“Oh yes, and thank you for seeing me it's a great honour to...”

At this the man appeared to blush. “I take it you recognise me?”

Now was my turn to feel slightly embarrassed, this man had an air of familiarity about him, but I just could not place him

“Sorry, I err...”

“I'm Yuri G...”

I interrupt before he can finish, excited that I may have heard of him after all “Oh are you that magician guy? The one with the spoons?”

I reach down into my small bag, certain I have one with my lunch, where is it? where is it?.

“No! Absolutely not...”

“Here it is” I sit back upright brandishing a small silver spoon.

“I said no, I'm Yuri Gagarin. I'm a very famous astronaut. I was the first man in space!”

“I've never heard of you, Now bend my spoon!”

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