The 7 Worst Things to do with a 2B Pencil

The title here is self-explanatory so I won't go on a long, rambling introductory paragraph, suffice to say, this is just my personal opinion and I appreciate that everyone else will have their own take on the top 7 (or bottom 7) worst things to do with a 2B pencil.

1. Throw it at someone who has done nothing wrong
I would never be so ridiculous as to suggest that you should never throw a 2B pencil at anyone- if you see Dapper Laughs or Boris Johnson for example, you should definitely throw a pencil at them- but throwing it at some woman buying grapes at the supermarket checkout or an elderly man waiting for the bus is really out of order. Don't do that, OK?

2. Sharpen it right down the eraser upon first buying it
That it quite wasteful

3. Use it to perform a tracheotomy on a person who does not need a tracheotomy

You should only ever perform a tracheotomy on a person who needs a tracheotomy, and really a 2B pencil is probably not suitable if they do need one (I wouldn't know, my knowledge of tracheotomy techniques is very limited. For all I know, you really should perform a tracheotomy on someone who doesn't need one using a 2B pencil. Please continue to do so if that is the case)

4. Use it to stir some cake mixture because you can't be bothered to go over to the cutlery drawer

Are you trying to give everyone who eats your cake lead poisoning?!

5. Carve a lewd message into the side using a compass
This might sound like fun but it actually isn't and could upset anyone who reads the message, and it may mean that the compass isn't available to somebody who needs it

6. Put it up the nostril of a wax work Jesus
This would be mean and disrespectful. However funny it may seem, it is not very nice to  put a 2B pencil up a wax Jesus' nostril.

7. Use it to write a rubbish blog post
The final entry in our list of worst things to do with a 2B pencil is to write a rubbish blog post. Luckily, despite this being my only blog, I have managed never to fall foul of this one, mostly because by its very nature, a blog post will not really be written down using a writing implement, that would just be a diary post or piece of writing. Oh well. Bye